Were all operating under stress these days, particularly in midlife. Theyre moving the goalposts and changing the rules right in the middle of whatever game this is.

From the dawn of time, we have been hardwired to respond to sudden stressors. Today the nature of the stress we encounter has changed radically. Its chronic. One thing after another that has to be dealt with immediately, thanks to instant communication and the speed of change. We arent built for that, especially by the time we hit midlife.

We each have a threshold for absorbing change. When were pushed beyond it, the fight or flight response floods our systems with adrenalin. With repeated crises, that response shuts down because adrenalin is so hard on us physically as our bodies age. (It causes shallow breathing, stops digestion and puts other systems on hold.) It is also a powerful mood booster.

Without it, secondary systems using serotonin and dopamine, have to take up the slack. As a result, we have an enormous increase in illnesses that hit us in midlife, including anxiety and panic attacks, as well as depression.

This plays out in different ways in life. My parents died when I was a teen. An only child, I was afraid of being on my own, even though I had great extended family support. I learned to operate on a sort of high alert to manage whatever came at me. The fight response in fact. I kicked into overdrive in stressful situations.

What worked for me ended up working against me, as is so often the way. Finally, in midlife, I got tired of trying to manage everything, whether I needed to, or not. It dawned on me that I was still governed by the old fear from my parents death. It took a while, but I finally learned to let it go - most of the time.

Relaxation is the third response to chronic stress. Dr. Herbert Benson of Harvard has researched and written about it in The Relaxation Response. It is learning to relax. It starts with becoming aware of your breathing and learning to breathe deeply. We dont realize how shallow our breathing tends to be, especially under stress. With deep breathing your body relaxes and even feels safe as you turn on the parasympathetic nervous system.

All the relaxation techniques, from certain types of yoga to meditation and guided imagery or visualisation, focus on deep breathing and relaxing tension in different parts of the body. You disengage from the world and start to experience calm and clarity.

You learn to:

* Still your thoughts and center yourself.
* Access intuition for guidance. As you pay attention, it grows.
* Gain new balance and trust as you learn to focus internally.

Its a drug-free way to disengage from stress and enhance your life!