Ive found a candidate for the next General Election. He is an honest, witty and very direct Independent who I believe everyone will vote for.

Why?

Because he will make only one promise. His campaign will be based on an undeniable truth; that he is only doing it for the money. For six years he will cream every dollar he can out of the system, and retire to his little spot in the sun on an eternal salary that will set him up for life. He will be on every committee, with all their financial incentives, his snout so deep into every trough only his ankles will be wiggling.

His office will be set up on tax payers money and sold for profit at the end of his term. This will be another handy little nest egg with which to buy a decent boat, from which he will wave to us while we trundle to work each day.

His living away from home allowance is around $400 a day for accommodation, so when hes at home hell be away, and when hes away hell be at home. Either way constituents are always welcome to share the spoils, courtesy of a healthy entertainment budget.

As an Independent nobody his influence will be zilch. He can do nothing for us, and will never claim that he can. He is a hard working family man from a deep working class background, who for 30 odd years has watched the corruption, lies and hypocrisy of politicians become so ingrained that few even question it. He wants a piece of that action, and is willing to slum it in the lap of luxury at your expense for a while. But he has one unique offer - to be there as your mole.

Because, he makes one promise. That while in office he will report each week on the goings on in Parliament, submitting articles on every rort, scam and rip off he can find. Every lousy piece of skulduggery will be brought to your attention. What we as voters will do with this information is up to us. Perhaps we dont really care about the political merry go round were on. Hell merely do his job, because by the time hes finished his financial future will be secure.

In short, his aim is to keep the bastards honest, and make a tidy profit along the way

Will it work. Do we want him?

I do. Id vote for him as Prime Minister as well, for the one thing we always drum into our children is the importance of honesty, of the simple truth that no matter how stupid we may look in the eyes of others it is telling the truth that sets us free, regardless of our perceived crime or misdemeanour.

The truth is hard to tell. Most hide behind little white lies, or whopping great stories, which told often enough become our personal truth. But in our defence we have leaders, our own elected representatives, who show us the way. They have turned dishonesty into an art form. No wonder our children find it hard to tell the truth, when even those making life changing decisions for them base these changes on a series of well cultivated lies, sewn into a multidimensional fabric of deceit.

The Candidate to whom I refer is an honest man. There can be no higher accolade. He will use this honesty to tell us exactly whats being done to us in the name of government. Who is pulling the strings and what theyre getting out of it.

We live in a world where all the rules have changed, where an angry man can be awarded damages for hurting his hand while punching out a window. He wasnt even asked to pay for it. A place where a man beating up his sister is stopped by her boyfriend, but is awarded damages for injuries inflicted upon him, a fantasyland where those convicted of money crimes have their cell key thrown away while vicious rapists have a bit of a rest in a reform centre before being released to rape another day.

And try fraudulently using a phone card for a while. The tactical response group is waiting, and dont think that by saying oops sorry is going to save you.

Our world needs an infusion of honesty, someone who can open the book and explain the rules by which were being told to live.

Vote for Honest Rob Daniel. He won't make a difference, but at least he'll tell the truth.